Getting Comfortable in Your Own Skin

It’s a wonder any woman – of any age – has any measure of self-esteem, given the constant societal message we receive: youth and beauty = worth. Throughout my 20s and 30s, I wasted a lot time wishing, trying, and ultimately failing to look like what the magazines told me I should look like. I don’t know a lot of women beyond their teenage years who like having their picture taken. How sad is that?

As I’ve aged, I’ve learned a lot about what constitutes “sexy”, and it has nothing to do with being able to wear those insanely low-rise jeans, tight-fitting shirts with your bust, well, busting out, or other trends so popular these days. It all starts with being comfortable in your own skin. Own it, baby. Enhance the best of yourself, but love all of yourself. It’s cliché but true: no one else can love you fully unless first you love yourself. It doesn’t mean you don’t try to take care of yourself or work on yourself; but it means stop wasting time fretting about your imperfections and love what you have and what you have to offer. Confidence is sexy as hell. And it’s not about just looks; it’s about life attitude, and how you handle what life throws at you.

Being happily married to a man 18 years younger than I am (I’m 46, he’s 28), I sometimes fret about the inevitable aging process, about how, in his mid 30s, I’ll be over 50, (etc.).  Then I remember that I’m a 46 year old woman with a 28 year old husband! When people find out, I typically get a high five followed by a, “You GO girl!”, and I laugh, but only because I know that what we have is real and true and deep, and it goes beyond the superficial.

Everyone sees the beauty of youth, but people rarely see the beauty of age. Many young women are, frankly, frivolous (though many of course are not). Those who focus on their looks and what they can get from them won’t have much to stand on (or for) when their looks fade. Those who focus on their looks and waste time fretting about their imperfections will look back with regret too. You  only get one go-round. Don’t waste it wishing for what you don’t (or can’t) have; focus on all that is good about you. It’s your skin; love it and wear it well.